


The Slow Decline

by thisiscyrene



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 16:06:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21915787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisiscyrene/pseuds/thisiscyrene
Summary: They’ve been breaking each other’s hearts for all their lives. Little chips and flakes falling away between momentous occasions of hurt. And all of it unspoken, internalized and filed away. They know they’re lucky, to have what they have now, to have found each other at such a young age. But growing up in rural North Carolina had been as magical as it had been devastating. Each of them with a lifetime of memories of adventure together, strung together by a web of self-doubt and self-loathing, of keeping in the most dire secret they could imagine. A secret that for most of their lives they couldn’t even put words to. They’d spent their entire lives together, but each of them had held that part of them close, never daring to speak it into reality in front of the other, or anyone for that matter. Not even themselves.
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 14
Kudos: 55
Collections: Mythical Secret Santa 2019





	The Slow Decline

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Borderline_Babe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Borderline_Babe/gifts).

> Written for [Borderline_Babe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Borderline_Babe/pseuds/Borderline_Babe) for the Mythical Secret Santa 2019 gift exchange! Prompt "was hurt/comfort, like hardcore hurt/comfort, maybe a little smut"
> 
> This mostly an AU where they didn't end up married, but also contains references to some real-life events. I messed with the timeline a little. See end notes for links to videos about the events I used here.

They’ve been breaking each other’s hearts for all their lives. Little chips and flakes falling away between momentous occasions of hurt. And all of it unspoken, internalized and filed away. They know they’re lucky, to have what they have now, to have found each other at such a young age. But growing up in rural North Carolina had been as magical as it had been devastating. Each of them with a lifetime of memories of adventure together, strung together by a web of self-doubt and self-loathing, of keeping in the most dire secret they could imagine. A secret that for most of their lives they couldn’t even put words to. They’d spent their entire lives together, but each of them had held that part of them close, never daring to speak it into reality in front of the other, or anyone for that matter. Not even themselves.

Link was 11, they were in 6th grade. The last year before leaving elementary school for junior high, something he and Rhett had been anxiously looking forward to for months. They’d be _ junior high schoolers, _ not elementary school kids anymore. Rhett and Link had been best friends for six whole years, just about since they day they’d met in first grade. They’d done pretty much everything together for those last six years.

But that year, they’d met another boy, named Ben, who had fit perfectly into their friendship dynamic, making their duo into a trio. Link loved hanging out with Ben, and he didn’t even mind that sometimes Rhett and Ben hung out together without him. Afterall, Rhett and Ben lived close to one another, and Link lived all the way on the other side of Buies Creek. 

The first time Link noticed something was off was the first time Rhett hadn’t shown up one Saturday morning at their usual meeting place, the cemetery in the middle of town. For just about every Saturday for as long as Link could remember they’d ridden their bikes to the cemetery to meet. They didn’t bother with calling to make plans, that was just their weekly ritual. But one Saturday in Spring Link waited. He’d set his bike down on the grass, kicking dirt and gravel around until he’d eventually sat down too. He waited all afternoon, figuring maybe Rhett’s mom and dad had forced him into running errands with them or something. Rhett had never missed a Saturday. 

Link waited until the morning turned into afternoon, and then the afternoon turned into evening. Quietly he hopped onto his bike and pedaled home. He gave Tucker’s head a pat as he dumped his bike in the garage and went in to sit on the couch. Maybe Rhett had been trying to call him while he was out. He decided to sit and wait. Eventually his mom returned home from work. He’d eaten dinner and gone to bed without hearing from Rhett.

The next day at church he found Rhett, sitting with Ben, on the curbside in the parking lot. He jogged over to them waving. 

“Hey Link!” Rhett called out as Link plopped onto the curb next to them breathlessly. 

“Hey Rhett, hey Ben,” Link answered cheerfully, happy to be hanging out with his friends again. “Where’d ya go yesterday?” Link followed up. “I waited all freaking day! What’d you get grounded or something?” Link laughed, imagining Rhett stuck at home, phone privileges revoked while Link sat in a freaking cemetery all Saturday.

Rhett looked puzzled for a moment before answering. “Oh shoot, sorry Link!” He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I was at Ben’s. He’s got this new computer and it’s got all sorts of games and GET THIS,” Rhett continued, clearly excited. “Me and Ben started writing our own DOS program, it’s freaking _ awesome_!”

Link laughed, he had no idea what a DOS was, but he was relieved to hear that Rhett wasn’t grounded or anything like that. They’d still be able to hang out. The rest of the day Link listened excitedly as Rhett and Ben talked about all the progress they’d made with the computer program and what they’d planned to do for it in the future. 

But Rhett missed more of their Saturdays. Link began to look forward to school days more than weekends, where he’d be able to see Rhett during lunch. He didn’t even really mind that most of their time together was spent gushing about all the cool things he and Ben had gotten up to over the weekend. Link laughed along with the two other boys, quietly dreading the weekends he now spent mostly alone. He was patient though, summer vacation was coming, and he knew he and Rhett, and Ben, would be able to spend it hiking through the forest and swimming in the Cape Fear River.

But summer came and Link saw even less of Rhett. They’d still hung out and every now and then he’d even come over to Ben’s to watch him and Rhett show him all the work they’d been putting in on the computer programming software. Rhett was ecstatic, telling Link that soon he and Ben would be making their own _ video games_. Link acted interested, but he missed their secret spot in the cow pasture and the cool water of the Cape Fear. He missed Rhett.

Link thought that if he could just remind Rhett of all the fun they’d had before, maybe he’d wanna come back. So after weeks of hinting, too embarrassed to outright ask him, Rhett was finally coming over to spend the night. Link made sure everything was perfect, begged his mom to buy the best snacks, to take him to rent some scary movies, something Rhett always wanted to watch but Link was too scared. Link was most excited to show him something else he’d been working on: a secret fort he’d built out of an old wooden shipping crate in his backyard. It wasn’t big, but Link had cleared it out and even gave it “indoor plumbing” by fixing a length of PVC pipe into one of the walls. It was just the type of project he and Rhett got up to for most of their friendship. Climbing trees, damming up parts of the creek to swim in, building secret hideaways. 

But when Rhett came over and Link dragged him to the backyard, crawling on his belly into the entrance of the hideout, he turned around to see Rhett staring at him with a weird look on his face.

“Gross Link, I’m not crawling in there with you,” Rhett chided. “It’s not big enough even to sit up in and I don’t wanna be all crammed up against you in some dirty box. It’s probably full of spiders anyway.” Link’s face burned with embarrassment at Rhett’s harsh words. He felt stupid. It was no wonder Rhett didn’t want to spend time with him anymore, they were about to start junior high and Link was still trying to build forts in the dirt like a little kid. Link suggested they go inside and watch a movie instead. 

Rhett didn’t spend the night again for the rest of the summer.

Summer vacation was coming to an end, and with it, Rhett’s birthday crept ever closer. Going camping alone, without their parents, had been something Rhett and Link had been looking excitedly forward to since the 4th grade, and at the beginning of the year Rhett’s dad had told him that for his birthday, he’d be able to take a friend and finally camp out all alone. Well, mostly alone, Rhett’s dad still insisted he camp nearby, but they’d take what they could get. 

Now that October was coming, Link started wondering when Rhett would bring up the trip. It was the last weekend of the summer before they went back to school. Link hadn’t heard from Rhett in about a week and was growing antsy at home. He wanted to hang out with Rhett at least once before going back to school, so he hopped on his bike and rode across town until he reached Rhett’s neighborhood.

Rhett’s mom answered the door, and Link leapt at her with an anxious, “Hiya Mama Di, is Rhett around?”

“Sorry Link, honey. Rhett’s daddy took him and Ben out camping for the weekend. I’ll tell him you came calling for him though,” she pat Link’s head twice before waving goodbye and closing the screen door. 

Link stood at the door for a few moments, unsure of what to think. Had Rhett forgotten him? Decided to take Ben camping with him for his birthday instead? As he turned to walk back to his bike Link felt shaky, his stomach hurt and his head was buzzing. Suddenly he was in tears, desperately trying to choke back sobs. Mostly he was terrified Rhett’s mom would find him crying and tell Rhett. 

He sat on the curb and buried his face in his hands and wept. 

By the start of the new year Rhett and Ben had lost interest in the computer and Link found himself back in the fold. Rhett stopped missing their Saturday meetings and the three of them were better friends than ever. But he never forgot the helplessness he felt as he watched Rhett and Ben growing closer as Link fought desperately to matter to Rhett. He thought back to his daddy marrying someone else and leaving him and his mama alone. He thought of his stepfather Jimmy eventually going away too. 

After that summer Link realized that no matter how much you try, how much you love someone, there’s no guarantee they’ll want to keep you around.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was their last year of college, one more year before completing their engineering degrees and becoming certified _ adults _ out there in the world. Of course they spent the entire four years together, starting off as roommates in the dorms as freshmen and sophomores before renting out a place with two other guys, Tim and Gregg, in their junior year. 

The thing is, as reality crept ever closer, Rhett was been stricken with a _ realization_, an uncomfortable one, about his best friend. He was starting to feel things he really knew he shouldn’t be feeling. He and Link had spent pretty much all of their time together since elementary school, but living with him was a different story. College Link had grown up confident and funny, shedding some of the anxiety that had plagued him as a kid. His physical appearance had changed too, growing lean and muscular, with a strong jawline and those piercing blue eyes. And Rhett had noticed it all.

Other people had noticed too, much to Rhett’s chagrin. Their friend circle had expanded, they’d hung out with other guys, gone to plenty of parties. Met girls. And throughout it all Rhett had found himself watching Link. Watching the way he interacted with other people, the way he made people laugh at his jokes, the way _ he’d _laugh at other people’s jokes. People that weren’t Rhett.

Ever since they were kids, Rhett wasn’t used to sharing Link with pretty much anybody. Now, even though they lived together, he felt like he had to vie for Link’s attention the majority of the time. They’d both dated girls off and on, though there had been nothing serious. They didn’t hang out much when one of them was seeing a girl. Rhett hated that. 

Now going into the last year of college, Rhett found himself struggling to confront the invasive thoughts he had about his best friend. About the jealousy he felt when Link spent time with other people. About how Rhett especially hated it when Link was seeing someone. At first there was denial. But the more Rhett found himself lingering on Link’s _ physical _ qualities, the more terrified Rhett felt. He felt like he was betraying Link, betraying himself and his family. It was like he’d committed a crime against all of humanity. 

It got worse the more time Link spent with his current girlfriend. She was nice enough but that didn’t matter. Rhett felt exhausted between working to keep Link off of his mind and working to make sure he’d maximized the time he spent with Link, especially if it meant keeping him from seeing his girlfriend. But the mental strain was starting to take a toll on his grades and his relationships, often finding himself pushing others away to be alone and stew in his thoughts about Link. To make matters worse, Link was usually too busy with his new girlfriend to even notice Rhett’s change in demeanor.

_ “Earn college credit, travel the world. Study abroad in Slovakia!” _

The sign was simple enough, hung on a bulletin board in the student center, but it had caught Rhett’s attention. He’d been stuck so far in his head lately, hung up on whatever it meant that he was feeling whatever it was he was feeling about Link. Maybe what he needed was to get outta here. He’d never traveled abroad before, and maybe the time away would help him get his mind off of Link, to reset his brain into thinking _ normally_. He tore off a tab with the study abroad office number and shoved it into his pocket.

Three months later and Rhett was boarding a plane to Slovakia. He’d be gone for an entire semester, the longest he and Link had ever spent apart. The longest Rhett had ever been away from home. He was nervous but excited, hopeful that seeing the world might help him get his priorities straight. Secretly, he also hoped his absence would make Link miss him.

Rhett took being away from home well enough, he liked his classmates, and Slovakia was the biggest adventure he’d ever been on. He tried new food, met all kinds of new people, and even learned a little bit of the language. Through it all he wished Link were there with him, sharing Rhett’s amazement at seeing so many new things in the world. And he all but told him so. Rhett wrote to Link once a week, sending a letter or a postcard out every single Friday. He wrote to Link more than he wrote to his parents. Link wrote back every once in a while. In the beginning Rhett got a letter back every couple of weeks, but eventually, and now that the semester was coming to a close, Rhett stopped hearing back from him altogether.

It was during those days that Rhett recognized that he missed Link. He missed him more than was right for a boy to miss another boy. And while the realization had driven Rhett halfway around the world in the first place, coming to terms with it had been easier than he’d expected. Two weeks before he was set to go home, Rhett decided that he had to tell Link the whole reason for his excursion across the globe. He had to come clean about the less than brotherly feelings that had been creeping in. So the last letter Rhett had sent back home to Link was one of confession. He’d confessed he’d missed Link more than he’d imagined. That he couldn’t wait to see him again. That he had something important he wanted to say. He signed off the letter inviting Link to come with his parents to pick him up from the airport so they wouldn’t have to waste any more time.

The last two weeks went by fast as ever, and Rhett found himself wide awake for the duration of the ten hour flight back to North Carolina, going over and over what he’d planned to tell Link as soon as he saw him again. He was terrified, but sure that he was doing the right thing. But when Rhett finally landed, gathered his luggage and made it through customs, he had difficulty hiding the disappointment on his face when he saw that Link wasn’t there at the gate waiting with his parents and brother. 

Internally, he was panicking. Wondering if Link had known about Rhett’s impure thoughts all along. Maybe his letter had sealed his fate, had driven away once and for all. He tried to act casual as he asked his parents if they’d head from Link, but they said they hadn’t seen Link since before Rhett’s departure. Rhett made up an excuse not to stay the night at his parents’ place despite his jetlag so he could return to the apartment he and Link shared with Tim and Gregg. Rhett’s stomach ached the entire drive back.

It was late when Rhett made it back home, making a beeline for his room to dump his luggage before wandering the rest of the house in search of Link. He came to a stop at Link’s closed bedroom door before knocking hesitantly. Was Link ignoring him on purpose? Was he sick? Out of town? A million possibilities flashed through Rhett’s head before he called out gently, “Link, you in there? I’m coming in.”

But when Rhett pushed open the door and flipped on the light he was startled. Link’s room was empty. It had been emptied of all of his things, his furniture, the posters on the wall. The only thing left was a bare-mattressed bed in the center of the room and Link’s desk against the wall. Rhett panicked, a hundred grizzly scenarios playing out in his mind. He hadn’t gotten a letter from Link in over a month, he hadn’t shown up with his parents at the airport, and now all his stuff was missing. Something terrible had happened to Link.

“Rhett! Hey man, you sneak back in or what?” A voice behind him and a hand clapped to his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts. Rhett whirled around. It was Tim. He must have noticed the horrified expression on Rhett’s face, because his smile fell immediately.

“Oh shit man, Link didn’t tell you? He moved out a couple weeks ago. Him and his girl got a place in the city. They’re getting pretty serious I guess.”

The ache in Rhett’s gut returned as he feigned surprise and congratulations on Link’s behalf. Tim slapped him on the shoulder once more before excusing himself. Rhett’s head was swimming with the new information as he sat down on the empty bed in the center of the room. Link had moved out. With a _ girl. _ They had been spending a lot of time together before Rhett left, a fact that had driven Rhett to go abroad in the first place, but he never dreamed that Link would move out. Without telling him no less. Suddenly Rhett felt the gravity of the mistake he had made in going away to Slovakia. 

As he got up to leave something on Link’s otherwise empty desk caught his mind. It was a stack of letters. When Rhett thumbed through them his stomach dropped. They were all his letters. A full month of letters and postcards he’d sent to Link. He guessed Link had moved out and hadn’t come back for his mail. On the very top of the stack was the last post card Rhett had sent to Link, the one confessing that he’d missed him, that he had something important he wanted to talk about. The one asking Link to meet him at the airport. 

Rhett took the stack of letters with him and dumped them into the trash can in the kitchen.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They finished college, left their engineering jobs and started doing YouTube together. Moved to Los Angeles from their little home of Buies Creek. They’re in their late 30s and they have _ everything they’ve ever wanted_. They’d fulfilled the blood oath, against all the odds in the world, and built up a company, with a full crew, writers, producers, expensive cameras. Their own sprawling studio. All of it based around their friendship. They had everything, but Rhett was greedy. Was never able to shake off the creeping, bubbling want in his body. His brain constantly screaming _ we were supposed to be something more!! _ For the most part he kept it under wraps. Link was his best friend, his _ brother_. They teased each other and bickered on camera, Rhett constantly feigning disgust if Link got too close. In reality Rhett’s brain was constantly screaming _ closer please. _

Eleven seasons and over a thousand episodes into their internet show, and they’re playing yet another game, a Mother’s Day themed game this time, trying to guess the answers their mothers had given to a series of questions. The episode goes smoothly and the questions were mostly easy things, favorite color, favorite food, and they’d both done pretty well guessing. But when the last question comes, asking what their proudest moment as mothers had been, Rhett feels apprehensive and he doesn’t know why. Rhett’s mom’s answer is generic: She’s just proud that Rhett turned out to be a decent human being. Link teased him at her using the word “decent,” unsurprisingly. Rhett laughed and took it in stride. Link’s mom’s answer was similar, but her delivery, voice wavering with tears, gushing about how proud she was. How lucky she was to have him as her son, made Rhett’s heart clench. 

Her answer got everyone in the room a little choked up, including Rhett. But there was an underlying truth there: if Rhett had gotten what he wanted in a relationship with Link, he’d have taken this away from him. There was no way in hell Link’s mom would be gushing on camera about how proud she was of her boy if he was romantically involved with another man. Rhett’s face burned and he started fidgeting, rubbing his hands together, unsure of what to do with them as reality dawned on him. 

All his life Rhett was convinced that they’d let opportunity pass them by. That not being with Link was a cosmic mistake and a tragedy. But what he’d just come to realize was that all along, _ he _ would have been the mistake for Link. That Rhett having everything he wanted would have taken away everything Link needed. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever since the Mother’s Day episode Rhett found himself in a downward spiral. He was hurt and defensive, and worst of all he couldn’t tell anybody about it. He let it affect his relationships, including his on and off-camera dynamic with Link. Rhett found himself increasingly annoyed with comments on their videos made by fans theorizing that he and Link didn’t actually get along in real life, that their “best friendship” was all for the cameras. As annoyed as Rhett was, they had a point. Rhett had been as snippy as ever toward Link both on and off-camera. 

He’d finally caved and gone to therapy. It had been slow going at first, so uncomfortable that he dreaded it. Most days he considered cancelling his appointment and staying home. But as the weeks and months progressed, so did Rhett. For the first time in his life, he admitted to someone his feelings about Link. It was as much of a relief as it was anxiety-inducing. As if speaking them into reality projected them physically into the world. But life went on, his and Link’s friendship had its ups and downs, and Rhett held himself together on camera. Most importantly, being able to talk to his therapist had helped Rhett not only come to terms with his feelings, but to face the reality that he and Link couldn’t be together. 

Around the middle of that year, after plans to film abroad fell through, he and Link decided to use the time they had set aside to take solo vacations. Link set off to the desert while Rhett checked into a posh luxury spa hotel on the central Californian coast. It was the first time since Slovakia that he’d traveled anywhere alone. Every excursion after that he’d had Link by his side. But now, as Rhett sets his bags down on the soft down comforter of the bed, he feels excited at the prospect of having a whole weekend with just himself. He’d even discussed it with his therapist when he’d suggested he used the vacation as an opportunity for self reflection and realization. Though Rhett now enjoyed his therapy sessions, he was beginning to feel like his progress had somewhat stagnated. 

He’d planned on coming to terms, once and for all, with his feelings for Link, including the loss he felt at knowing they could never truly be together. That weekend Rhett would confront his reality head on, and he’d be kind to himself. He’d spend his time meditating, focusing on the person he was now, in the present. Weaning himself from dwelling on the what-ifs of the past.

On the evening of his first day, after yoga and a massage at the spa, after treating himself to dinner at the fancy hotel restaurant, Rhett returned to his room. He’d donned the fluffy hotel bathrobe, making himself feel as comfortable and safe as possible. And then he’d sat himself down on the bed in front of the mirror. He looked at himself, considered his every laugh line and freckle, the tiny growing gray patch in his beard - he’d looked himself in the eyes and he started to speak. To address himself sincerely.

“My name is Rhett McLaughlin, and I am in love with my best friend. I’m in love with Link Neal.”

At first the words felt artificial and embarrassing, ringing out a little bit too loud in the otherwise silent room. But he continued. 

“I’m in love with Link, and I always have been,” Rhett’s voice was stronger now. He felt the words as he spoke them.

And Rhett talked. He spoke into the mirror, spoke his feelings out loud to himself. Let the words be born into the air in the room. Let the molecules in his breath speak it all into a physical reality he could feel. Rhett let the words tumble out of his mouth, one after another. He spoke freely, unashamed and unafraid of what the words sounded like when they came out of his mouth.

“This is my boyfriend, Link,” he ventured, to nobody in particular. Feeling bold he tried again, “This is my _ husband _, Link. We were best friends and then we got married.” Rhett giggles, the words feel ridiculous, but with every sentence he feels the tightness in his chest dissipate. The stiffness in his jaw come undone, the creases between his brows fall away. 

Rhett speaks the words but he knows what his true goal is here, so he pushes forward.

“My name is Rhett McLaughlin and I’m in love with my best friend. But we’re not together.” He clears his throat and finishes, “I am in love with Link Neal but we _ can’t _ be together.”

And with that he’s finished. He takes a long shower and lets himself cry. He’s sad but he’s also happy, proud of himself knowing he was finally strong enough to admit everything and to confront it. Link was still his best friend and he always would be. But now Rhett would learn to live for himself, to be good to himself despite his feelings.

The next day Rhett slept past noon and woke up groggy and puffy-eyed. But he felt stronger than he had in years, maybe decades. He was ready to move forward again.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


Link was nervous. Incredibly nervous. This was pretty much the only time in life he’d ever traveled anywhere alone. Nevermind the fact that he was really only a few hours outside of Los Angeles, his destination seemed like worlds away from his comfortable every day life. And that was precisely why Link had chosen the middle of the Sonoran desert as his vacation destination. He’d resolved to go on an adventure by himself. Well almost by himself, he’d brought his little dog Jade with him. Now, as Link neared the GPS pinpoint signaling his Airbnb, a little camper in the community known as Slab City, his heart started racing. Everything about the trip was very much outside his comfort zone, but that was exactly what he wanted.

That night, as he settled into his rickety camper, surrounded by desert and stars, he reflected on everything that happened so far. He’d met new people, the couple that owned the camper were kind, if not eccentric, and his neighbor, residing in the camper next door, the one with the sign on the door advertising palm readings for five dollars, was insightful and gentle. Link thought about all the people out here living on the Slabs, living a life more true to themselves and free than Link had ever been in his entire life. Link realized that this is what he wanted. He wanted to worry less about what people thought of him, of what he thought of _ himself. _

Which brought him to Rhett, and their relationship. He thought back to himself as a child, brokenhearted after Rhett had decided to spend his birthday with Ben rather than with him. He thought about how he’d closed up after that, how he’d watched his own behavior even more closely. He had vowed never to do anything that might drive the people he loved away from him ever again. Link had made it his life’s priority never to be unloved and lonely. And that had meant watching himself. How he presented himself to his friends and family, his community back in North Carolina. How he felt like he had to hide certain parts of himself, especially when it came to Rhett.

And even though they’d moved to California it had stuck. Even when Rhett’s behavior towards him had changed, the awkward affection he’d started to show, Link had pushed him away. Their whole lives, Link realized, they’d been pushing each other back and forth. Rhett would lean in and Link would push away. Or Link would try to let himself in and Rhett would run. 

Link thought back to the summer Rhett had gone to Slovakia, and how he’d felt abandoned again just like with Ben. Those months had been difficult, and he’d thrown himself at the girl he’d been dating. Two months after Rhett had left Link had already confessed that he’d loved her, said they should move in together, that they should marry someday. Link laughed to himself and curled in on Jade, stroking her warm fur for comfort. That plan, unsurprisingly, hadn't worked out. He was too young and stupid, but being left alone was terrifiying, and Link felt like she’d offered a way out of loneliness. But he and Rhett’s relationship was never quite the same after it.

Throughout the rest of the weekend Link made it a point to meet as many new people as he could, to spend time getting to know people who were honest and open, and learn how to be open with himself. As he packed his truck to head home, he’d resolved to be open with Rhett from then on. He’d tell Rhett he was tired of hiding his guilt and self-loathing, that he was going to vow not to be held hostage by the fear of being unloved anymore. He trusted Rhett more than anything.

As Link re-entered the Los Angeles city limits he smiled to himself. He couldn’t wait to see Rhett.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  
  


Somehow their dynamic changed. Link started pushing forward little by little while Rhett started pulling away. It felt like a complete reversal of a relationship between the two that had been building for years. Rhett always had a hard time hiding his affection for Link, even if he tried to write if off as a joke for the camera, while Link was quick to point out the awkwardness of a situation between the two of them. But now, Link found himself waiting impatiently for Rhett’s affection that stopped coming. Rhett pushed him away physically on camera if he got too close. Meanwhile Link found himself growing increasingly desperate for approval. Overall their relationship was good, but both of them found themselves somewhat privately confused. Each had felt like they’d made an incredible self-discovery through their solo vacations, but when they’d come back together it was like they were pushing off of each other in completely new ways.

Link felt unsure again, and Rhett started to wonder if he’d been reading too much into Link’s actions.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The whole next year is spent tangled in this confusing new dynamic. They feel insecure around each other in a whole new way. And while Rhett brings it up at therapy, neither of them voice their observations out loud to the other. Link finds himself increasingly hurt everytime Rhett bats away his hands, or refuses to do the “dink it” bit with him during videos. Meanwhile Rhett has to tell himself he’s imagining things when he feels Link standing a little closer than usual, smooshed up against his side on car trips or during interviews or just about any time they aren’t stuck in their chairs behind the GMM desk. 

As they put the finishing touches on their first novel, Link reflects on all 35 years of his and Rhett’s friendship. Writing the novel had forced them to confront things about their past, about their attachment to each other. About how they’d always felt like it was the two of them against the entire world. He and Rhett had spent countless late nights going over every inch of their childhood to prepare for and write the book. Now, with the release date and book tour looming on the horizon, they prepare to film one of their most ambitious and personal projects to date. They’ll be returning to Buies Creek with their crew to visit their childhood homes and to all the landmarks that had featured large in their friendship. The documentary was a sort of mythical pilgrimage, dedicated to their lifetime of friendship.

With each location they visit Link finds his heart swelling with affection for Rhett. Rhett watches Link fondly as they tell stories from their childhood together, giggling as Link becomes over excited. Even though they’re with a crew of people, it feels like it's just the two of them come back home. Rhett thinks back to his teenage self, feeling fearful and small at his secret attraction to Link, and he wonders what he’d think of them now. He and Link were together, though not in the way he’d deeply and secretly wished for. 

He wondered if what he and Link had now was success or failure.

But it’s their trip into the woods, to find their tree and later the infamous conversation rocks where they’d made their oath, that drives the reality home for both of them. At the tree Link chokes out his thoughts regarding the metaphor of the three of them, himself, Rhett, and Ben, unable to link hands fully around the largest tree in the forest. That no matter what, one person would remain unlinked. It’s something he’d never talked about before.

And then at the rocks, it’s almost overwhelming. He feels like he could cry and he tells Rhett as much, laughing breathlessly. It’s hard to get out, but when it’s just him and Rhett with the camera, sitting on the rocks, he starts to tell Rhett how terrified he’d felt at the prospect of losing him to a basketball scholarship. When he jokes about renewing their vows, with Rhett crouched down on one knee, for the first time in his entire life, he feels unafraid. He loves Rhett and Rhett loves him. That much is obvious. 

Before they head back to join their crew at the banks of the river, they switch off the camera and stand before each other in silence. Link makes the first move, settling himself into Rhett’s side and wrapping a single arm around him. Before he knows it Rhett has him pulled into a full embrace, long arms tightening around Link’s middle, pulling him into his chest. Link feels Rhett rest his head on his chin and exhale quietly. They hold the embrace for a beat in silence, before breaking away with grins on their faces.

“Guess we shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer,” Link admits sheepishly. 

Rhett laughs, “Guess not. Besides, the faster we get back the faster we can shower the muck off.” He punctuates the word “muck” with an open palmed slap to Link’s sweat-soaked back and they dissolve into giggles as they turn back to the crew.

That night, after debriefing with the crew, after packing equipment into the truck, after showers and dinners and drinks Rhett and Link sit side-by-side in silence on the couch in Rhett’s hotel room. Link fidgets with the hem of his sweater and desperately wishes Rhett will bring him in for another hug. 

“Guess we should talk, huh?” Rhett ventures. Link chuckles lightly. They should have been talking decades ago, Link figures.

But Link is startled when Rhett reaches over and takes his hand, wrapping his fingers around Link’s, threading them together. Link swallows audibly and looks up at Rhett. 

“Link I -” Rhett starts. He honestly doesn’t know where he’s going with this. Where he should start, how far back he needs to go. So he goes all the way back.

“I’m sorry I left you behind on my 12th birthday. I wished you were there the whole time. Going camping without you, it just didn’t feel right. I freaking missed you so much...” Rhett trailed off sadly. 

Link’s jaw dropped, that was absolutely not something he’d expected to hear. He’d all but forgotten that day, despite the fact that it had pretty much shaped the trajectory of their relationship would take across the next three decades. Both of them hurting each other in little ways when all they wanted was to be together. Truly together. 

Rhett presses on in his explanation, confessing that he loved Ben, but he hated that Link seemed to drift away from them. That his dad has encouraged Rhett to take Ben camping instead because “it wasn’t right that Link was his only friend.”

Just as Rhett starts to ramble, Link cuts him off.

“I’m sorry I moved out without telling you,” he says softly. “I was so scared that you being gone would have showed you that you didn’t need me around.” Now that Link says it out loud, the prospect of Rhett leaving him sounds ridiculous. But at the time it had felt very real.

Rhett laughs, loud enough to startle Link, and pulls him in, wraps his arms around Link’s body for the second time that day. He pulls Link to him and he confesses everything. That he was so scared of what he was feeling for Link he’d run off to Slovakia, thinking that the distance would help him purge any impure and non-brotherly thoughts he’d had about his best friend. He told Link about the letters, about how he’d planned on confessing the night he’d gotten back to the states. He told Link that he’d thrown the letters in the trash and held his feelings deep inside his chest for the next 15 years. 

By the end of it they’re wrapped around each other on the couch, some of the time they’re laughing, giggling at how stupid they were to be afraid, to doubt that the other could do anything but love with all of his heart. Some of the time there are tears, sadness for the fear that they’d grown up with as kids, fear of disappointing the adults in their lives, at letting their parents down, at letting _ God _ down, just through the act of being _ themselves. _

It’s Link that leans in for the kiss first, with Rhett’s arms still wrapped around him, Link practically hoists himself into Rhett’s lap, laughing at how perfecty he fits there. He brings his hands up to Rhett’s face, running his fingers through the soft hair of his beard, before he pulls him in for their first kiss. It knocks the wind out of them both, and suddenly Rhett finds himself pulling Link down with him to the couch, tangling his fingers in his hair and kissing him deeply. He can feel every inch of Link’s body pressed against his. He’s so happy he feels like he could yell. He tells Link and they laugh.

Rhett gets his hands up Link’s shirt, feels the muscles dancing beneath his skin. He knows this body, but being free to let his hands roam across it is something he’d never expected to have. Link keeps kissing him until he grows frustrated, sitting back up to lift his shirt up and over his head and Rhett can’t help but stop and stare at the man in his lap, hair disheveled and glasses askew, Link smirks down at him before diving back in for another kiss. Rhett lets his hands continue their exploration of Link’s torso, skimming his fingers up his sides, flattening his palms against his pecs, letting his thumbs caress his nipples, before sliding them up and down his shoulders, and finally down to Link’s back. This is every single thing Rhett had ever wanted.

“Hey, Rhett, look at me,” Link calls to him, and Rhett realizes that he’s shut his eyes. Link looks down at him thoughtfully.

“I love you Rhett.” Link states it matter of factly, so easily. Like that simple phrase wasn’t the one thing that had driven them both to anguish for just about thirty fucking years. 

And then Rhett is rearing up, flipping them over. He’s yanking his own shirt off over his head, tousling his already wild hair before dipping back down to take Link’s lips. When he comes back up for air, he cups Link’s face in his hands.

“I love you too, Link. Always have. Almost went crazy with how much I love you.”

Link wiggles beneath him, grinning. Blue eyes shining wet with tears.

“Take me to bed, then?” Link drawls out with an arch of his eyebrow, accent thick and apparent. It makes Rhett laugh, but he stands up and extends an arm to Link, who takes it. 

They crawl into bed together, leaving behind the rest of their clothes. Rhett feels lightheaded at everything that’s happening, that he’s got Link naked in his freaking bed, one of his most deeply buried fantasies of his finally coming to life, right here in North Carolina no less. They kiss and let their hands roam over heated skin. Link lets his fingertips trace the freckles on Rhett’s arms, leans up to kiss them on his shoulders. He lets himself feel small pressed against Rhett, held down beneath him, and when he climbs on top of him. He loves the stretch in his hips as he spreads his thighs to accommodate Rhett between his legs. It’s exhilarating. He grinds down against Rhett until they’re both hard and panting, moving until Rhett’s hand comes to rest against his chest.

“Link, can I…” He stops breathlessly. “I wanna use my hands on you,” he manages as he pulls Link back down, pushes and pulls gently until he’s got Link beneath him, legs still spread around his hips. 

Rhett lets his hands trail down between them, taking Link’s length in his hand, marveling at how smooth and hot the skin is. At how heavy and full he feels in his hand. But best of all are the little sighs and groans leaving Link’s lips. His warm breath puffing out against Rhett’s chest as he strokes him slowly. He gathers both of them in his hand and strokes them to completion, together. Link’s quiet pleas and encouragements are enough to set Rhett off. They come together, between them. Rhett takes a moment, and despite how badly he wants to collapse onto Link, thinks better of it. 

He peers down at Link, his best friend, the biggest love of his entire life, spread out beneath him, breathless and rosy-cheeked, with a blissful smile on his face and he thinks that maybe their hearts don’t have to be broken at all anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> References:  
[Ear Biscuits "Our Friend with Big Ideas"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5v4uxvjABg&t=2s)  
[ GMM/More "Rhett and Link Quizzed By Their Moms](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tnw1W7cicG4)  
[Ear Biscuits 142 "Our Solo Excursions](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=788yslWOocc)
> 
> As always a million thank yous to [TheMouthKing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMouthKing/pseuds/TheMouthKing%22TheMouthKing</a) for beta reading AND for helping me out with the title which I totally did NOT just outright steal verbatim.
> 
> You can find me over on tumblr as [killthenaughtyboy](https://killthenaughtyboy.tumblr.com/)


End file.
